Letting Go
by KyraValo
Summary: A Sheelos songfic. Based on the song "Let Me Go" by 3 Doors down. From Zelos' POV.


**AN: **hello pplz! I have now decided to write a songfic! Fear me! Tee hee. Anywho…I was listening to this song for like the 50th time in a row and I was like OMG that sounds like a Sheelos thing! So I got inspired and wrote it down. This fic is based on the song Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down. So anywho, read it and tell me what u think.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own TOS or any characters. If I did I'd be rich! Not broke!

From Zelos' POV

**Letting Go**

Zelos walked the streets of the snow covered city of Flanoir like a mindless zombie. Lost in thought, he wandered aimlessly, knowing full well the decision that he would have to make all too soon. One person lingered in his mind. The same person that had tormented his thoughts and haunted his dreams since he had started this journey. The mysterious Mizuho ninja, Sheena.

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
__But one more lie could be the worst  
__And all these thoughts are never resting  
__And you're not something I deserve._

For the first time in his life, Zelos was having a difficult time choosing sides. Normally, the side that looked like it was going to win would be the side he chose, no questions asked. Yet now, all he pictured was Sheena's face, as he revealed his true intentions. She would see him as a traitor, a backstabber. She didn't deserve that kind of treatment. She believed in this cause that they fought for, even if he, Zelos, did not. His decision could crush her spirits. It could destroy everything that she had helped to work toward this entire time.

_In my head there's only you now  
__This world falls on me  
__In this world there's real and make believe  
__And this seems real to me_

Zelos winced at the thought. He felt as if it would kill him, literally, to inflict that pain on the one he had come to love so dearly. It wasn't just love, he mused. It was respect as well. She had such a strong will, a will that had grown ever stronger with each summon spirit they had made a pact with. He had seen that she was scared inside. How vainly she tried to mask it by acting tough. But she never gave up. Never. Even when the price of failure was her very life. Such bravery was proving to have a very intoxicating allure on him. Never in his life had he wanted to hold someone so badly, to love and possess someone with all of his being. And as fate would have it, it was the one person that he _still_ was not able to get close to, after all this time. How ironic.

_And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__Let me go_

Even more ironic was the fact that he knew that she loved him. She had tried unsuccessfully to hide how she felt. But Zelos knew. He had known for awhile. It would have been much easier if she had only hated him. What he felt for her would have been much easier to deny. Instead, she held his heart enthralled, and had the power to crush it at any minute. He knew that Sheena cared for him, even though she didn't show it, and his betrayal would kill her inside.

_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
__And turn my back on loving you  
__How can this love be a good thing  
__When I know what I'm going through_

However, Zelos knew that he could never have her. This whole time, he had been plotting behind everyone's back. He put his own ambition above everything else. There was no way now that he could possibly hope to have a future with his precious Sheena. She would reject him the minute he acknowledged that he had had an ulterior motive this whole time. Zelos sighed in despair. He was going to have what he had wanted from the beginning – freedom from being the chosen. Seles would become the chosen instead, and he would be free at last. Everything was going according to plan. So _why_ was he so torn and upset inside?

_In my head there's only you now  
__This world falls on me  
__In this world there's real and make believe  
__And this seems real to me_

Love was a very complicated emotion for Zelos. It was something he didn't have any experience with, and it was becoming more troublesome by the minute. He tried to tell himself that when this was over, he could be with any of his numerous lovely hunnies that he wished. But that was the problem. He didn't want any of them. He only wanted one. One who loved him in return, but would not admit to it. Yet only hurt would come of their relationship.

_And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__Just let me go_

Why was he having doubts now? He should just follow his orders, and hand the chosen over. Then he could be done with it all. It sounded so wonderful, so tempting, yet Zelos saw the darker side as well. By simply following those orders, he would lose more than he could ever hope to gain. He would be free, yes, but he would also deprive himself of his only true reason to keep living.

_And no matter how hard I try  
__I can't escape these things inside I know  
__I knowww…  
__When all the pieces fall apart  
__You will be the only one who knows  
__Who knows_

No matter how he looked at it, it was a lose-lose situation. The less insane choice would be to do as he had been instructed, to forget these feelings that plagued him. It was more logical in Zelos' mind, as he would be more likely to stay alive that way. The other option would be to stay here, with the group, and help them to achieve the goal that they so desperately believed in. The goal that _she_ desperately believed in. The logical choice was proving to be the more difficult one. Zelos wanted nothing more than to stay with her, to help her separate the two worlds with his own hands if need be. But if he stayed, she would find out anyway that he had been working with the enemy. It was only a matter of time. Would they forgive him? Would she? Would she let him stay by her side?

_And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
__Just let me go_

No. As much as he wanted to, he could not do that to her. He would not stay by her side with his tainted past. He wished with all his soul that he could stay, but every way he looked at it, he would end up hurting her. At least if he left now, she would be hurt, but she would get over it. She would forget him, with time, because he would make sure that he would not be around to be a hindrance to her. Although Zelos was sure that he would never forget her.

_And you love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't know who I am  
__And you love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't  
__You love me but you don't know me_

Shivering in the cold snow, lost in confusion that he could no longer understand, Zelos grieved for the choice that he would make. He grieved for the fate of the two worlds, for the fate of the little group that he had traveled with for so long, and for the suffering that Sheena would go through when all was revealed. But mostly, he grieved for himself. He fought back the tears that he was so unaccustomed to having. Zelos Wilder took a deep breath, and tried his hardest to let go of the only person he had ever loved.

**AN: sooooo? What did u think! Write me a review! Plz! **


End file.
